Here Comes the Sun.

"Here comes the sun and I say: It's alright. Little darlin, it's been a long, cold lonely winter. Little darlin, it feels like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say: It's alright. Little darlin, the smile's returning to their faces. Little darlin, it seems like years since it's been here. Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun and I say: It's alright."

Obviously, I did not look too cute today. Oh well. The sun is OUT and it is oh so beautiful. I love it. 

I am not into school or work. This morning when I was prying myself out of bed, Andrew sent me a text telling me that school was our focus right now. I do not want to focus on school. I want to focus on my plans and my man. But then again, I'm so distracted my fingernails are completely chipped, my eyebrows are awry, and I do not want to go tanning. It's funny for me to look back at pictures and see how put together I used to be. Sure, I've always had my own style and sass. But I used to be meticulous about my appearance. Now I just go. This makes me feel guilty because I could be so much hotter. But then again, I don't really care. Because right now, I am so much happier than I ever was at my hottest.

Today I had a long text conversation with a friend I have not seen in a year and a half or so. While texting, she asked me about a boy I used to be extremely close to. This shouldn't have been a surprise since the last time I talked to her I was in the thick of my relationship with said boy. But it still surprised me because I never think about it anymore. I had to put myself back in that situation and think of what was going on the last time we spoke. She was very surprised that our relationship ended and that we no longer spoke. I didn't give her details, just said we parted ways a long time ago. Right after I told her, she asked if I was serious with my boyfriend she saw on facebook. It was funny- like she knew that since I wasn't in my previous relationship, I must be close to getting married to someone else. The point is, it made me think. And all I really have to say is this: I don't know why that relationship happened, nor do I care anymore. Or think about it. I'm so glad I'm with someone who is nice and considerate (even if he is a little punk and a little younger than me which the latter I never, ever thought would happen, even if by four months). I was so unhappy in that relationship, but I stuck with it because I knew it was the right thing to do (Which it was. and it was also right that it didn't work out. Which is twisted and weird but whatev). If it had worked out, I always would have been unhappy. Now I get to be happy all the time and I am so, so glad.

The END.

Lazy Lazy.

Sometimes I am really lazy. Like today. I slept in until 10. And it felt so wonderful. Then my new plates (so cute) and new shower curtain (so adorable) came in and I talked to Lexi about unmentionable things that are a little nerve wracking. Then I talked to my Mama about plans and reservations for 30 minutes where I found out my little bro is so sick he's on like 4 kinds of medicine. Noah is just so cute, even when he is so sick. He's just a nice little boy. I love him. Then I reserved a study room, which I want to try and see if they're a good idea. Andrew and I make a group, because a group makes 2. I can't study at home, but I feel suffocated studying in the library when I'm with another person. I like to be able to talk if I want to talk. Thus the group study room is fabulous. I'm gonna get so much done! I'm late to work right now because I need to be there in 13 minutes and I have not showered. Gross, I know.

I just feel so... happy and excited and distracted that I do not want to focus, especially when I know I can push things back. I also sometimes need some alone time, which I am invoking right now. I was in a really bad mood last night, so I'm glad I got the extra sleep and conversations in. BUT I really, really don't like to be told what to do. I never have. Maybe I should work on that. My mama always described it as "you were always going to do the right thing, you were just going to do it how you wanted to." So true. Families are great, and I am so excited that in a determined amount of time, I will have a second one. Really I will have three, and one main one. A new one. And that is so exciting and it was so random and unexpected. No wonder I have trouble focusing.

On another note, I need to be so much better about taking pictures and writing. Those are my favorite things. I got the cutest blue journal which helps with writing, but I still have to remember. Sometimes I can't think about anything besides the person in the picture above, as wonderfully cheesy as that sounds. This picture was last Thursday right after (or maybe right before) Andrew and I made a very important phone call about a very important date (June 25th). Life is just so exciting. And I am so content and happy and I like that I finally found someone who fits without making him fit. I dated around for a long long time (almost 7 years) before I found one I wanted for keeps. But this one stuck. And I love it. And I love him.

I probably shouldn't write that on my blog because my ring finger is still bare. Oh well. Too late.

2 is better than 1

.LoveLoveLoveLove.

This used to be my theme song:

The train is almost here. This decision seems so clear. I can feel the habit cutting like a knife. In the end, I know that it is gonna drive right into me. Cause I'm a drifter and I know that doesn't do me any good. Moving on from place to place, never staying where I should. I left him just to leave. No, I left him cause he needed me. I can feel him looking at me like I stole his '67 chevrolet and drove it away. Cause I'm a gypsy and I know it doesn't do me any good. Moving on from place to place, never staying where I should. I walked into another strange place, didn't see a single face that I recognized or wanted. Guess it's on to the next chase. Cause I'm a drifter and I know that doesn't do me any good, moving on from place to place never staying where I should. Yeah I'm a gypsy and I know that doesn't do me any good, moving on from place to place, stealing hearts just cause I could... (by Rosi Golan)

Now this one is:

If you were falling, then I would catch you. You need a light? I'd find a match. Cause I love the way you say "Good Morning" and you take me the way I am. If you are chilly, here take my sweater. You're head is aching? I'll make it better. Cause I love the way you call me "Baby" and you take me the way I am. I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair. Sew on patches to all you tear cause I love you more than I could ever promise and you take me the way I am. You take me the way I am... (by Ingrid M.) 

Edchacation

I need to be better about writing and photographing. They are my favorite things. Along with loving. And dresses. And church.

So today my women's history class talked about women's education. Apparently, my teacher and her colleagues often have female students come and tell them that they are afraid to succeed. They do not want to look too ambitious or overzealous. They do not want to seem too career-oriented. In other words, they do not want to scare off the men.

I do not understand this concept. I'm all about my double major, even though I don't know what I want to do as a day job while I try to establish myself as an author (which is, I know, a long shot. My mother reminds me as often as the "what are you going to do with your life?" question arises). I don't know if I will ever be published, but I know I am going to try. I want to do what I love doing. I don't understand why that is a problem for some girls. I don't know what every girl in the world should want to be, because every girl in the world is different. However, I believe every person should try to be their best. So why not through education? I'd rather be at school than be in a 9-5 I detest. I'd rather be in school than anything else though, which is ironic because I did not want to go to college for a long, long time. I just wanted to be free, away from any kind of structure. I don't feel that way towards school anymore. I love to learn. That being said, I often feel like school gets in the way of my education.

Just a Sunday Afternoon

 

 

Today I went to church and I wore my cute new green dress. Apparently, it was see through. In my apartment, no one reminded me. Instead, they told me how adorable it was. I agreed. I did not realize it was as transparent as green saran wrap. So I went to church, cardigan stuffed in my bag, and sat down in Relief Society-- where I realized I could see my legs through my skirt. Suffice to say, all day church long I tried to cover myself up. It's a pity though. That dress is just so cute and flowy.

After church, we went on a scooter ride. We stopped up by some houses and I busted out my Nikon. It was fabulous. I never thought I would meet someone who would be content to hang out with me while I get my photography on. More than that, I did not think I would like it if I did. I was right, because I don't like it. I love it. I like that I have found a boy who actually likes things I like, who does what he wants, and likes it that I do what I want as well. It's the exact opposite of feeling suffocated. It makes feel liberated. It makes me feel free.

And I am so tired. And happy. And I need to start my homework. Badly.

Weekends are just too short. 

Trouble.

I have done something bad.

I have found this website.

It has everything cute a woman could ask for. So, after Andrew left tonight I did what any woman would do: I bought a journal. It is ridiculously great. It was once a cook book, published in the 1950s. Not anymore. Some cute woman in California tore out the pages and then lovingly stitched in new, blank pages. But not just blank pages. There are three sections: one in cream, one in pink, and one in graph paper. It was 25 dollars. Good style is not cheap. But it was worth it. Why? Because as I type this, 450 blank pages of life are heading my way. I've been so bad at keeping a journal since last summer. Maybe this will help me out.